Oh my god, you guys. I stumbled upon the trailer for this movie while looking for something else and man am I happy that I did, because it is just so WONDERFULLY stupid. It’s actually PERFECT in its stupidity. Every dumb aspect of it is so beautifully executed, I don’t even have words for it. It’s like stupid ballet. Highlights: the anonymous phone call to the police to help them narrow down their search for the lake killer: “Your killer’s definitely not a bear.” (HA!) The grizzled sheriff pointing out the obvious: “Who’s ever heard of a shark in a lake?” (AmIright???) And my personal favorite – what feels like about a million shots of people firing guns into a lake.
In fact, before we go any further, just please watch it for yourself and get back here to discuss!
HAHAHAHA. So, okay, I don’t know how on earth this movie was greenlit. Maybe everyone was riding high on that sweet, sweet Sharknado wave, maybe someone wasn’t fully paying attention when using the Yes, Let’s Spend Millions Of Dollars on This stamp, or maybe, just maybe, it went a little something like this:
INT. STUDIO EXEC’S OFFICE
A nervous young screenwriter/director sweats profusely while standing in front of a bored looking executive. He’s been waiting his whole life for this chance. Stumbling slightly over his words, he begins his pitch.
So, my story is about a single mom who starts putting
herself through night school, and-
The studio exec jolts himself out of a daze.
Sorry, I fell asleep there for a
second. Got any other ideas?
Uh, of course!
Absolutely panicked, he looks around the room, desperate for inspiration. He sees a picture of a vicious looking shark hanging on the wall.
Yeah, I’ve got a great one called Shark…
He looks frantically to his computer, desperate to finish the sentence and sees the serene lake of his screen saver.
Lake! Shark Lake! No wait, that doesn’t make any-
It’s perfect! We’ll buy it! See my girl on your way out and
she’ll get you your check for a million dollars.*
Anyway, regardless of how it got made, Shark Lake is here, baby, and only time (and people watching it on Netflix while drinking heavily) will determine if it’s a So Stupid Its Entertaining type of movie or a So Stupid, but Not in a Fun Way, type of movie. Either way, I am excited about this addition to the list of films with Shark in the title! Now with the Sharknado franchise and Shark Lake, I think we could see an entire subgenre of silly shark gore movies developing here. What could be next? Sharks on a Plane? (No, too complicated, too “done.”) What about Sharks Gone Wild? It would be about going on a murder spree during Spring Break!
…wait, is that actually a great/awesome/$$$$ idea???? Stop reading this! Get me my agent! (Okay, I do not have an agent.) Anyway, go watch Shark Lake and tell me what you think! (And also please forget about reading the concept for my unstoppable money making blockbuster, Sharks Gone Wild.) Thanks!
*I may not exactly know how Hollywood works.